Another Year

It's that time of year again. I'm now 23-years-old, and still in the same situation I was before. Except this year I've gone through the most hellish thing ever to bring my daughter into this world. Normally I would take this time to reflect on what I haven't accomplished in my life. I know it's a negative outlook, but I've always been this way. Why haven't I done this? Why haven't I done that? However, this year I feel like there isn't much I can reflect on.

I graduated last year. Shoot, I graduated while pregnant! I never thought I would be able to do two huge things like that at once, that's for sure. While Lillian and I may be in a situation that I don't really like I realize that this will change, and soon I'll be able to create my own space -- my own home to raise my daughter in.

Then there is the fact that my older brother went through his own hellish experience; a double lung transplant. He was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis in 1999 and it's been...well, there are no words to describe it. We nearly lost him twice, and now he has a new set of lungs -- someone else's lungs -- in his body, and he is healing better than anyone thought he would. He is my inspiration, and he gives me hope for a better tomorrow.

Then there is my fiance, whom has always told me to follow my dreams. I lucked out to have someone who understands me. He constantly gets onto me to write if I need him to, and he'll always tell me when I'm being too unrealistic.

Those three people inspire me, and keep me on that borderline between sane and insane. It's those three people that I dedicate this year's NaNoWriMo novel too. I don't think I would have even attempted this, after last year's failure, again if it wasn't for them.

So this year I strive to be a better person, and to do whatever it is that makes me happy. Because, in the long run, I know that those three people would want me to do it.